Monday, March 17, 2008

Very Touched - reply to deja vu

Thank you everyone for all your comments and support & love - I had no idea that it ever crossed anyone's mind, and especially that my neices would even remember Emily because you were all pretty young then. It means alot to know you do.

Mickie - you are so sweet to offer go up to Emily's grave. Mike is going to go on Wednesday, so he's got it covered, and I think it would be a long drive after a day at work. But I so appreciate that you were willing. Mike will call me on the phone and we'll do a little long distance prayer together. I always feel kinda sad that we don't get to go on Memorial Day, and believe it or not, that SLC cemetery is one hoppin' joyful place that day, so anytime you or anyone else want to take up some picnic food and a little balloon or bouquet then so Emily and Grandma Pete get a prayer and flowers like all the others there, you'll be surrounded by people doing the same. I was amazed that people go up there like it was a tailgating party that day! I always wonder what our loved ones think of it and if they ever join us there. One time, a friend from a support group went to take flowers the first year we were here in TN and couldn't go. She said she brought a pinwheel and said a little prayer and the pinwheel started spinning even though there was no breeze. So maybe they are aware and appreciate being remembered. I really like to walk or drive around and see so many church leaders' gravestones and what they say. It's pretty cool in a cemetary-sort of way.

Trish, It's not often that other people know how special it is to have their loved ones remembered by name. Thank you so much for your words - it really meant more than I can say. I had no idea that anyone visited Emily besides us. I'm so very touched. I hope you are at the stage in this pregnancy that a fear of miscarriage is over, but I know you said at this point with KK you had to go on bed rest? Take care; I'll be praying for you and the little one. Someday, those of us who have babies, as Mike's post said, that were too pure to be on earth, gained their bodies and returned straight back to the presence of Heavenly Father will be ours to raise...and won't we all be busy then?!

Bobbie - it's so hard to not be scared for others when they are pregnant, and I know so many women in our family have had multiple losses. I always breathe a huge sigh of relief whenever any of you have your baby in your arms safe and sound. I'm so glad you thought of me and Emily while you were prego with JD, and I'm sure it was so incredibly scary going thru the health crisis you had with pregnancy. I feel sad that you can't safely have another pregnancy, but so so so relieved you have JD now. I hope in some small way, maybe being extra careful helped you. Your mom was a big help to me then, and I'm glad you have her near you to help with JD. That's something I really missed - not having a mom in the same state ever, until now.

Kristen - Thanks, I agree. I distinctly remember when I lost Emily that if she could be the last baby ever lost, that I could make that sacrifice knowing nobody would have to go thru what we were. And it was so sad knowing that every day, somebody would be grieving a lost baby, because it just isn't preventable. I think we as mothers would do just about anything to make sure that nobody ever lost a child again. Unfortunately that's just not possible in this life.

Kay - thanks for being such a warm, fun person...even in blogging, I can see you saying it!

Holly - Love ya too babe. I thought of you alot when I wrote that post. I don't remember those days too clearly - but I remember you being there and wanting so badly to do something to help. It was a difficult time and you were a god-send.

Mike - thanks for being such a great husband and friend. You're right :) you don't always have the words, but actions speak louder and are more important anyway, and I know how much all of us mean to you. You can't skip the hardships, but it makes it easier to have you by my side thru them! We've been very blessed with wonderful children and a home filled with love. I love you!

5 comments:

Mickie and Matt said...

SLC Cemetary? Where is she in there? Matt works downtown and honestly I have wanted to go there for sometime to see the church leaders graves. Let me know and i'll stop by her grave sometime and visit.

Holly said...

Okay Chrissie...are you trying to make me cry?!?! I hope you know that I would drop everything again-if needed! I know you would do the same for me. :)

Chrissie said...

My directions would never get you there Mickie! I remember driving down T street towards the SLC Cemetery because Taryn made us because it started with a T! Then we passed the Catholic cemetary and turned in some gate, drove to the tippy top, and made a right, parked by the 3 pine trees and started searching! There's a heart shaped headstone not too far away from Emily and Grandma Pete, and that's all I can tell you!!

Mike or Trish could do alot better I'm sure!! :))

Maxwell (Mad)House said...

Chrissie, although I was not around this great family when you lost Emily, I have heard the story many times and it has always made me so sad. I don't think there is any pregnant woman who does not fear losing her child and it breaks my heart that you did. I agree with you that there is not anything that a woman would do for her children and to help others not feel loss. My uncle gave a talk once about how the closest we can come to seeing Christ's love is to see a mother's love. That statement made me look at Christ's love in a whole new way. I always understood loving your fellow man, but I'm not sure that until being a mother myself that I fully understood that unconditional love. The same Sunday that my uncle gave that talk, the woman teaching Relief Society used an example in the lesson that not many people would volunteer to have their hands nailed to a board for someone else and as I sat there and thought about this I wondered if I would. I would like to say that I would for anyone, but I KNOW that I would for my child because there is NOTHING that I would not do for them. Anyway, the point to this rambling was to say that I am sorry for your pain and I wish I could take it away, but also to say that because the Lord did make that sacrifice for all of us that He truely does, as you said, know each of our sufferings. I know that your beautiful family will ALL be together someday and I respect your point of view on the loss of your daughter. We love you all:)

Trish Griffee said...

Okay I am at work and crying my eyes out...Stupid pregnancy hormones. Mickie I can show you right where her grave is anytime.

Steph is so right. There is nothing that any of us would not do for our children. To take away there pain, sorrow heart ache, or hurting. It's truly incredible to think of what Christ went through to try to take that all go away for us!. I'm so grateful to know of the atonement and how much different our struggles would be if we didn't know. I look forward to the day when I get to see the little ones I've lost. i know that every mom who has lost babies does.